Robert Medhurst spent most of his first week at university looking at social media, seeing content about peers enjoying evenings out.
"I remained in my room," Robert recalls, characterizing that period as the loneliest time of his life.
The people he lived with seldom socialized, and his program didn't seem very sociable.
Even though he made efforts by participating in sample activities for multiple organizations, he couldn't find people he connected with.
"I began losing my confidence," he says. "I believed people didn't want to become my friends, or they didn't like me."
Social Media Comparisons
Initially, Robert didn't plan of going to university and was offered positions for post-secondary education.
However he saw his friends living it up as college students online.
"When you must rise for your job during the week at nine in the morning and you see someone's been out on Wednesday night, you do start thinking the grass is greener," Robert explains.
College Anticipations
TV shows and social media can romanticize the concept of college existence.
Lots of people come to university with high expectations for what they believe could be the greatest period of their lives.
Some students come to university with "rose-tinted glasses," notes a mental health professional.
Survey Findings
- Through surveys of new students initially, the primary worry was fitting in and being accepted
- Additional research through polling organizations, 17% of students said they were without companions at university
- 37% said they worried daily or weekly about building relationships
Individual Stories
A different attendee's social media content was populated with clips of students enjoying themselves while living together in student houses.
However when she transferred from her previous location to campus to study journalism, she found freshers' week "daunting" because of the drinking culture it involved.
Alisha doesn't drink and had never been clubbing before.
"I did spend much of orientation inside my accommodation," she says. "I simply experienced a bit alienated."
Psychological Aspects
In a 2025 survey of numerous college learners, nearly one-third reported they contemplated dropping out.
The main cause was psychological wellbeing, succeeded by financial concerns.
"Concern over these various aspects is very widespread, and expected," notes a support specialist.
Finding Solutions
With time, all three individuals all found their feet and built connections.
She built connections via her studies and using online platforms, while another student became more content when she could to relocate with companions.
Useful Suggestions
For Robert, now 24 and in his last year, it was participating in theater activities and working occasionally that supported social connection.
The suggested approach to new attendees experiencing connection challenges is to just "get out of your room" and go to club and society taster events.
"Subsequent to periods of consistently showing up, people recognise your face," he mentions, "you notice their presence, and you start making friends."
